Day 3: Yesterday was my first real attempt to record a
decent quality audiobook. As expected, numerous problems revealed themselves.
My goal for today is to tackle these problems one by one in a logical and systematic
way. There’s no hurry here. If it takes a while to sort things out, that’s
fine. Humanity has done just fine for the past 100,000 years without a Smoke Monkey International audiobook. A
few more weeks isn’t going to spoil the party.
Issue #1: The couch cushion tent fort recording studio.
I need to ask myself if this is a realistic thing to set up
and dismantle on a daily basis. Is this really the ideal recording space, or do
I just like building cushion forts? I need to try and be mature here, and
professional. I need to face the fact that I’m being ridiculous. But beyond
that, I need to really think about what I know about sound recording and sound
proofing. Which raises this fundamental question: Is the purpose of a good
recording space mainly to keep sound in, or to keep sound out? I don’t actually
know the answer to this question. The reason I went with the cushion fort
studio idea was because I figured all the padding would protect and massage the
sound waves, give them a nice place to land. This in turn would lend a warmth
and fullness to the sound of my voice. But now I’m suspecting that the real
purpose of a recording studio is to block extraneous noises from fouling up the
recording. I’m sure on some level a good recording space is supposed to do both
of these things. But my cushion fort sure as hell isn’t keeping any sounds out.
Cars and busses and even airplanes make a lot of noise in my apartment. I
accept the fact that if I am going to record in my apartment, I might as well
do it in a more comfortable and spacious location, because there’s no blocking the
sounds of the city. Earlier in the day I listened to three episodes of the
podcast called “Podcasting for Dummies.”
The narrator made a good suggestion. He said you can record in a loud apartment
and just pause whenever you hear a bus go by. Then make lip smacking noises so
the sound waves on the recording program show you where you need to splice when
you edit. Then resume. Podcasting for Dummies indeed. I set up my recording
gear at the desk in my office (which is also my bedroom).
Issue #2: The mic.
I need to do something about the popping sounds I make when I
read words that start with certain letters. I’ve read I can make a screen out
of pantyhose. I call my wife to get pantyhose location info, as well as
permission to destroy a pair. My wife is great, but between cushion forts and
pantyhose vocal screens, I know I’m pushing some kind of unspoken limit. Years
ago we bought sauté pan splatter screens in a set of three. I find that
slipping the pantyhose over the smallest of these creates a nice air blocking screen
with a convenient handle. I’m proud of my resourcefulness. I do some sound
tests and, wow, the thing works like a charm. Except for the fact that the
pantyhose are black (sexy!) and I can’t see through them to verify that the mic
is positioned properly, which you might not think is a big deal, but it turns
out I blow a few long recordings because the mic has swiveled without my
noticing. Podcasting for Imbeciles!
Issue #3: Hardware and software.
I learn today that the version of Garageband for iPads is
very different from the version on an actual computer. The computer version
allows you to fool around with the recording and fix some big
problems, like background humming. It’s possible to do raw recording on the
iPad and then transfer the file to the computer to deal with cleaning it up,
but that process doesn't work for me for a couple of ridiculous reasons. First
of all, I literally can’t figure out how to do this basic operation. I’m not an
ignoramus when it comes to using technology, but I do have a young child. My
brain sometimes just stops working. I look online, I watch tutorials, and I
just can’t do it. It’s incredibly frustrating and time consuming. Additionally
(and these two issues might be related) my Mac computer is a work issued
computer and I am not an administrator. The iTunes version on the computer is too old to work
with Garageband, so when I try to move files from the iPad I’m told I need to
update the version, which I don’t have the authority to do. Alternatively, I do have a Windows PC
and a Windows laptop, but they can’t run Garageband. But why am I married to
this idea of using Garageband anyway? Jesus. Through some trial and error I
accept the fact that my best option is to record directly onto the Mac computer
using the full version of Garageband. This is the right move I’m certain, but I’m
disappointed to learn that I can’t make my iPad do this one cool thing I
want it to do. At least I can still use it to read from while I record.
So I’ve sorted a lot of things out at this point, and the
day is nearly shot. I’ve moved the recording studio to my desk and accepted the
fact that I will have to accommodate ambient noises. I’ve settled on a hardware
and software situation. And I’ve got a pantyhose screen guard. So I’ve fixed
some of the fixable issues. But there are still more problems.
Issue #4: My voice.
I finally start recording and find that while I can control
the gain level coming off the mic, I cannot control the saliva level in my
mouth. And so, what the fuck, Mouth? You can talk all day without Noah’s flood
pooling against your tonsils, but when I need a nice clear delivery for my audiobook it’s like you've set up shop on the Olympic Peninsula. The same thing happens to me at the
dentist. So I’m recording and pausing to swallow and smacking my lips three
times like the guy told me to whenever there’s a problem or an outside
distraction, and I finally get through a chapter.
Issue #5: Editing.
Editing on the Mac computer goes great, except for the fact
that when I take out a problem section and splice the file back together, the
voice sounds slightly different from one side to the next. The final product sounds
like it’s been cut and pasted together, which it has. I’m hoping there’s a way
to smooth all of this over. But I don’t know what that way is. And I’m still not
happy with the tone of my voice. If I leave off effects it sounds too realistic,
like a guy reading. If I put some effects on my voice I can get a nice filtered
sound the resembles the audiobook quality I’m familiar with. But there’s a
slight electronic edge to the vocals and you can tell they've been digitally manipulated.
Maybe that’s what you get when you do it yourself, or maybe I just don’t know
what I’m doing yet. We’ll see.
No comments:
Post a Comment